I'm Dreaming of...

a white Christmas.

And how sweet it is that we got some white stuff for Baby Boy's first Christmas.

As you can see he enjoyed watching every minute of the falling snow. 

 All the while this little lady ate up every bit of attention from her grands over the holidays.

One of the moments I have been anticipating for weeks was December 24th.  While on bed rest with McClain, I would look at the days on the calendar counting down to Christmas Eve.  I held onto the short term dream of making it through the pregnancy, and holding my newborn closely during our church's Christmas Eve service.  My moment came.  How thankful I was to celebrate my son's birth, along with the Risen Son's birth.  

Loving my two babes (and Lindsay) on Christmas morning.

So I have to say that life with two kids is wonderful, but totally crazy.  Especially when your 16 month old gets sick and passes it onto your two week old during the week of Christmas.  But we survived the germs, the interrupted sleep, the hustle and bustle, the white stuff, and even squeezed in family time with everyone.  

We spent some time as a family of four Christmas morning.  Even though Santa took a sabbatical from our house this year, we enjoyed our morning just lounging in our pj's and playing Christmas music.  And I do mean live music from our two in house musicians...

We had Christmas lunch with my mom and her side of the family and then went to my dad's for dinner.  It was a cold day to be out and about, but little buddy snuggled up by the fire at Pop Pop's and kept warm.

And Lucy Mills basically was into everything that day, but she looked so darn cute so we allowed it.

The day after Christmas, Travis' mom, dad, and brother joined us.  I think Santa dropped off our presents at their house because they brought all the loot.

Including Lucy Mills' very own pink reading chair! 

Testing out her new seat.  I think it's a keeper. 

God has certainly blessed us in 2010.  Bring on the new year! 

Our Grands are Grand!

We have four pretty amazing people to thank for standing by our side these past few months.  Well actually these past 30 years...give or take a few.  Little McClain could have been born extremely prematurely had you not stepped in to take care of us.  

My mom, Suggie or "Gee" as Lucy Mills has dubbed her, moved in with us when I came home from my stay at Richland.  She did everything required of a homemaker which enabled me to stay put in the bed.  I could rest assured knowing that everything was taken care of with Shugs around.

Here she is snuggling McClain.

My dad, aka Pop Pop, provided the means for us to hire help outside of the home.  What a blessing that was! Now what am I going to do since I have grown accustomed to house cleaners and babysitters??? Back to reality! 

After two daughters and a granddaughter Pop Pop finally has a boy! 

And what would we have done without my sweet in laws? You would never know that they do not live locally with all of the help they have given us.  Grandmother and Granddaddy graciously took time off of work to help us. Grandmother always brought books and new toys to keep our little girl occupied.  Since I had to be inside our four walls, that usually meant that she did too.  Thanks to Grandmother, Lucy Mills always had fun things to do. 
In God's perfect way of timing things, my father in law arrived on the Sunday night before I was admitted to the hospital at 30 weeks.  The entire week I was gone, he single handily took care of Lucy Mills.  They have been best buds ever since.

Getting their fill of McClain.

And here are three generations of Mason men. McClain's first name is Robert named for his grandfather.  

Many thanks to you four!
  I don't know how we can ever repay you. 

Mr. McClain

McClain definitely wins the prize for the best baby award.  

He has a sweet, but laid back and easy going personality (so far).  We have even dubbed him "laid back Mac" around our house because he just seems to go with the flow.  And he would have to since big sister seems to rule the roost most days...

McClain is a week and a half old and has been a pure joy to have in our family.  He is an excellent sleeper - he has only been waking up once in the middle of the night for a feeding. Yet Travis and I are still finding ourselves sleep deprived and unbelievably exhausted.  

Go figure.  

McClain has been eating well and his reflux and milk allergy are doing much, much better than when we were in the hospital.  He loves to snuggle, look at the lights on the Christmas tree, and basically just chill out.  Thank you God in Heaven for giving me such an agreeable baby! 

Here are a few pictures of little man's first week at home:

giving mommy a little wave...

Sweet Siblings...

...well sort of.  Let me explain.  

One of the moments I have been anticipating for months was when Lucy Mills would meet McClain.   These two would end up being about 15 months apart in age so I thought that she may not be too aware about what was going on when he arrived.  While she has added "baby" and "brubba" (brother) to her ever expanding vocabulary, would she actually know that McClain was ours for keeps? 

Eager to see "her baby."

Although hesitant at first, it seemed that everything had started out well.

Perhaps she even wanted to hold him.

"Here he comes Lucy Mills..."

And we are not a fan.

Looks like we may have some adjusting to do on the home front.

But after some comforting and reassurance from Grandmother and Grandaddy, 

Lucy Mills realized that this big sister gig may not be so bad after all.

She even started giving Baby McClain kisses...

Even though the grand introduction to her baby brother didn't go as smoothly as I had anticipated, Lucy Mills has done extremely well with him since we have been home.  She loves to give McClain kisses, bring him his paci, point out that he has hair and ears.  But in my opinion the cutest thing is when he cries (which is rare!) her eyes well up with these huge crocodile tears.  She has such a tender heart and can't bear for her baby to be upset.  We took both kids to the pediatrician the other day for check ups and when the nurse started to examine McClain he let out a few whimpers.  Lucy Mills started balling so much that Travis had to take her out of the room to calm her down.  

I love that she is already sensitive to her brother even though they are still so young.  My prayer is that these two will be best friends and always look out for each other.  

How could you not love this little angel face? 

And for the sake of comparison:


Lucy Mills at 2 days old

McClain at 2 days old

What do you think...see any resemblance? 
{Besides the crooked hats}

12-10-10

 I am not really sure how to start this post other than to say that December 10th did not turn out quite how I expected.  Well, I did end up with a baby by the end of the longest day so I suppose we can say goal accomplished.

The Lord has faithfully answered so many prayers along this journey and this day was no different.  To my amazement I was able to stay pregnant with the plan to induce at the 36 week mark.  I was previously induced with Lucy Mills at 36 weeks and my labor with her took 11 hours before she made her grand entrance into the world.  So naturally I figured that this labor and delivery would follow suit. 

After kissing my sweet little girl goodbye, enjoying a quick date night dinner (at 4 o'clock!) with my husband, I checked into the Labor and Delivery unit at the hospital ready to get the show on the road.  I was given cervadil which the doctor said should speed the labor process along.  She said that with the progress I had already made that the baby would probably arrive no later than noon the following day.  Off to dreamland I went with the anticipation of being a mother of two within hours.  

Well by morning I was still 2 cm dilated.  So no change there.

I was given pitocin to speed up my contractions.  Still no change.

She broke my water.  No change. 

Okaaay.

The hours inched by and the pain increased.  The anesthesiologist was called in three times because my epidural continued to wear off throughout the day.  This was a much different experience than the last time.  After 16 hours of labor I made the difficult decision to surrender to a c-section.  I never made it past 6 cm (and held there for 4 hours) and never fully effaced.  Part of me felt like a failure, but when Dr. Jones looked at me and asked me "if I was ready to meet my son," I knew it was time.  My blood pressure had thankfully stayed in the normal range all day but around hour 16 of labor it started to spike.  This was getting to be too much.  I knew that the goal was a healthy baby and a healthy mama, even if things didn't go according to my plan.  

I was prepped and taken back to the operating room where Travis and I laid eyes on 

Robert McClain Mason 

for the very first time. 

I know c-sections are a pretty common practice these days, but my experience was not very kind.  My preeclampsia had totally stressed out my liver and kidneys, and as we later found out my heart.  Therefore I bled entirely too much during the surgery.  Ten hours after McClain was born, I was doing cardiograms, heart ultrasounds, and finding out that a cardiologist had been called into see me.  Apparently my heart rate sky rocketed while my hemoglobin levels dropped, leaving me borderline risk for cardiac arrest.  Add severe dehydration to the mix meant things were pretty scary.  My third night in the hospital I had a blood transfusion which seemed to do the trick.  I felt much better afterwards and everything seemed to correct itself. 

Seeing this little bundle lifted my spirits entirely.

I only share the details of this pregnancy and delivery as a reminder that God is sovereign and totally in control.  I am grateful that He brought me through the suffering and now I am enjoying such a sweet reward.  Lucy Mills and McClain are the joys of my life and I see them as the gifts that they are. 

 

                                  How blessed am I that the Lord chose me to influence their little souls?

The Baby Boy I Never Knew I Always Wanted

The house is quiet, the kids are sleeping, and the only light is the glow that comes from the twinkling white ones that adorn the Christmas tree.  
This is the moment I have waited months for.  
The moment when the pregnancy was behind me and I was home with my son.  


I have so much on my heart and so much I want to record on here - 
the story of his birth, my health scares, the first time my children met each other.  
But for now I will just bask in the peacefulness of this sweet moment, curled up in my white and blue bath robe, to reflect on how much I love my little boy.  

You see I have always been somewhat partial to girls.  I come from a family of girls, I have always babysat for girls, and I have a little girl.  So when I found out that McClain was on the way I was nervous about what kind of mom I would be to this little man.  
How would I do with someone who loved tractors, trains, bugs and ballparks? 


Let me just say that I am madly, ridiculously, over the moon in love with my baby boy.  I can not get enough of his sweetness.  My friends with boys always told me that there is a special bond with mothers and sons.  They would go on and on about how boys love their mamas.  All I heard was "you just wait Lil, he is going to steal your heart." I just could not grasp the concept until the nurse handed me my sweet McClain.  

It's been a hard journey to get to this place, but I look forward to every moment of life with my little one. After all he is the baby boy I never knew I always wanted.  

Baby Boy is Here!

"For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."

1 Samuel 1:27

Robert "McClain" Mason

12-10-10

10:01 pm

6 lbs. 7 ozs.

It's Go Time

I feel like a kid counting down the days until Christmas morning! 

This Friday marks the date I have waited for, prayed for, cried for, and begged for...

the day I will lay eyes on my sweet little boy. 

December 10th will mark 36 weeks of pregnancy - a date we thought would happen extremely premature. 

I am holding strong and stable.  I am scheduled to check into the hospital Thursday and be induced early Friday morning.  And I am counting every blessing I have been given.  

While I have been stable for three weeks now, my doctor does not want to push me further than the 36 week mark.  Between 36-38 weeks preeclampsia worsens intensely and I experienced this last time with Lucy Mills.  Right now the baby should fare fine on the outside and we are confident that inducing labor is the best decision, especially since I have been having contractions for weeks now and am dilating.  

Baby Boy has been moving a ton, but has not consistently stayed head down.  Please pray with me that he will be head down Friday morning so that I can labor naturally.  If he is not head down we will do a c-section.  

I know what a miracle this pregnancy and this baby is. 

Thank you family and friends who have seen us through this trial.  

Please keep our little family in your prayers as we welcome Baby Boy.  

December 10th is a day that we will see God's mercies prevail.  

34 and Holding

"The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:14


This is the verse that I have held tight to this past week.  Just "being still" goes against everything I want to do right now.  I want to decorate my house for the holiday season, I want to take my little girls' hand as she learns to walk around the house, I want to be in the football stadium cheering among the other fans.  But what I want more than any of these things is to hold my healthy baby boy when he is born.  So in the meantime I will just be still.  


Friday, November 26th marked another milestone that we were hoping to accomplish.  As I write this post I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  It was exactly a month ago that I was put in the hospital and told that my body was shutting down and would maybe last another week being pregnant.  Oh how sweet the words of Exodus 14 sound! 


I went to the doctor this morning and mama and baby look great! 
So now the plan is 10 days and counting.  Of course if things take a turn for the worse I will be put in the hospital immediately to be induced.  
But if we can remain stable for 10 more days I will be put in the hospital on December 9th and induced on the 10th.  December 10th marks 36 weeks. Making 36 weeks is something that seemed so unattainable at one point.  When will I learn that with God ALL things are possible? 

33 Weeks

Another week has come and gone to cross off the pregnancy calendar.  I am praising God for His faithfulness and for answering our prayers.  I am already two weeks further in my pregnancy than the doctors thought I would get.  Every time I go to my appointments the nurses, doctors and office staff give me a thumbs up and say "yay, you're still pregnant!" And then some of them ask me if I want to apply for a job there since I'm around the office just as much as they are. :) 

Last week I was hopeful that this would be a relatively smooth week and for the most part it has been...until yesterday.  

I went in to have my weekly NST done and the monitor showed that Baby Boy was possibly having some decelerations in his heart rate.  So I was sent back to the hospital for hours of more monitoring.  Well as it turns out he was not having decels, but I was having contractions 3-5 minutes apart.  Lovely.  The last time this happened at 30 weeks I was put in the hospital and put on Magnesium.

To make a long story short, over the course of 7 hours I was given shots to slow down my contractions and sent home with medicine to keep them at bay.  I have started to dilate but not enough to keep me in the hospital.  Since my blood pressure has not spiked high again, the doctors want to keep me on the meds at least until next Friday - when I am 34 weeks.  

Please pray along with us that I can healthily stay pregnant at least one more week from today.  To make 34 weeks has been my goal for a while now and I am excited that this week will mark that milestone.  

My (Almost) 15 Month Old

One of the hardest things, if not the hardest things for me during this pregnancy has been not being Lucy Mills' primary caregiver.  I have been on bed rest for over seven weeks now and I feel  so guilty for missing this period in her life.

I am thankful for Travis, my parents, my in laws, and some great babysitters who have stepped in for me to love and care for my child.  Lord knows she is an active girl on the go who can take up all your energy most days! 

 Even though being away from her has been a struggle for me, Lucy Mills is soaking up all the attention from everyone in and out of our house.  

 I know that I am doing what I have to do to take care of this baby and myself, but this little girl has been my world these past 14 and 1/2 months.  She is growing up so fast and I don't want to miss out on any of it.

Lucy Mills,

You must have inherited your mother's stubbornness because you refuse to walk on your own.  You stand up all the time and push your shopping cart or choo choo train all around the house.  You run with it in fact, but you refuse to let go and walk by yourself.  Are you going to make Mommy carry around two babies? 

You babble on all day long from the moment you are awake until you are go to sleep.  You mimmick our words and sentences and point to whatever you are talking about.  You love to say babies, (ma nana) bananas, appa (apple), nah nah (Maggie), hi mama, hi dada, wa wa (water) and pumpkin.  You are now trying to put words and sentences together.  We don't always understand you but can eventually understand what you mean.  You adore reading books and sound like you are fluent in Chinese when you read aloud.  
You despise having your diaper and clothes changed.  It sounds like we are chopping off your legs or something when you are being changed.  
Your favorite game now is peek-a-boo but you like to cover up my eyes and do it.  
You are still taking two good two hour naps a day and sleeping 12 hours through the night.  (I sure wish I could say the same for me!)
You clap your hands and smile the biggest, brightest smile when you are excited to see someone.  
We took down a big mirror that was no longer needed in the dining room, and for the time being propped it up against the wall in our room.  Well you have found a little girl who looks a lot like you to play with in the reflection!  You play peek-a-boo in the mirror, you dance, and you hit the glass in pure excitement.  Sometimes you point to it and say "baby?" 


Lucy Mills, you are the joy of our lives and I can't wait to have life back to normal our simple routine. 

This Journey

Well a few weeks ago I had all the intention in the world to update this blog regularly.  Sometimes the best laid plans go by the wayside.  

"I will delight to do Your will, O my God;

Your law is within my heart."

-Psalm 40:8

On Monday, November 1st my preeclampsia began to take over and get the best of me.  At my doctors appointment that morning things did not go in my favor.  My blood pressure was creeping up which started to affect my neurological system, and I was having contractions every 3-5 minutes.  With all of this going on at a mere 30 weeks pregnant, my doctor (and several other docs who have been keeping tabs on me) were not hopeful.  

I asked her how much longer she thought I could carry this baby, and she responded 

"I think you have a week left in you."

She left the room and I crumbled into an ocean of tears.

No, it's not time, it's too soon, he's not ready were all the thoughts swimming through my frazzled and exhausted brain.

Moments later I was sent to the hospital to be stabilized.  I was put on fluids, oxygen and (my nemesis) Magnesium.  Later that day I was transferred to another local hospital equipped with a high risk maternity unit and the best NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) in the state.

"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you;

 He will be with you.

He will not fail you or forsake you.

Do not fear or be dismayed."

-Deuteronomy 31:8

Lets just say bed rest at home is MUCH better than bed rest in the hospital.  I won't complain about all the details here but it was a very, very hard week for me.  

The silver lining in the cloud was that I have never felt more covered in prayers.  My family and friends immediately stepped in to be at the hospital with me, take care of Lucy Mills 24/7, and reach out to me in countless ways.  I am in awe and feel so undeserving of their graciousness.  

"I cried out of my distress to the Lord and He answered me.

I cried for help from the depth...

You heard my voice."

-Jonah: 2:2

After a week in the hospital the high risk doctor let me come home for a 24-48 hour period. Well a few nights sleep in my own bed must have bought me some more time.  I remained stable enough to stay home and be monitored in the office and hospital 2-3 days a week. 

I have surely seen the power of prayer.  My numbers have been perfectly stable for two weeks now.  On November 1st the goal was to make 32 weeks and still be pregnant.  

Goal = Accomplished

Now we are praying every week to make one more Friday.  My goal now is to make Thanksgiving with this little turkey still in the oven.  

I know from past experience that preeclampsia does not get better, it gets worse and it gets worse fast.  The only cure is to deliver the baby.  

Even though I have been stable these past two weeks, Baby Boy has given us a little trouble.  Out of the five (yes, five insurance company!) ultrasounds I had this week he has not been breathing like he should.  Each time he does not cooperate I am sent to the hospital for 3 hours of monitoring and another ultrasound.  This happened three times this week alone.

Eventually he does what the doctor needs to see but it is somewhat concerning that he may be struggling with the task.  It does not indicate a lung problem, but instead that the preeclampsia is beginning to take a toll on him.  

Each week the doctor will determine if Baby Boy is getting what he needs from me, or if the preeclampsia is compromising his wellbeing and he would fare better on the outside.  

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day,

I had holy plans for you" 

-Jeremiah 1:5, MSG

My prayer is that we will both healthily make it to 34-35 weeks before inducing.  Of course longer would be great, but I think that is a reasonable goal.  I would love to be able to deliver at Lexington with my doctors and be closer to home.  I trust the Lord knows what we need and will put us where He wants us.  

This week I will also be seeing a high risk doctor who specializes in maternal assessment.  After three trips to the hospital this week I hope this will be a relatively normal week.  The entire experience is both emotionally and physically exhausting for all of us.  

My sweet friend Carrie sent me the words from this praise song and my sister Susan also bought me the cd.  I meditate on its words when the days seem dark.

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God… 

-Chris Tomlin

And of course these two bring so much joy.

(picture taken from my phone)

This Week

Thank you family and friends (and even people we don't know) who are praying and supporting us during this time.  There are things going on that can only be attributed to the power of prayer.  

As most of you know I do not want to be put in the hospital or put on medication unless it is absolutely necessary.  It has already been a difficult adjustment on my end to release the daily care of my child (as well as everything else in my "normal" life) to those helping us.  I don't want to be away from Travis or Lucy Mills for what could be an extended period of time.  

Last week I was in and out of my doctor's office and hospital four times.  I had two scheduled visits and two "you need to get here now" visits.  Even though I have been on strict bed rest at home my blood pressure would still spike pretty high throughout the day and night.   The high pressure accompanied with horrible headaches, dizziness, and other unpleasantries my doctor has been concerned to say the least.

Each time I went into the doctor, certain I would hear news that I didn't want to hear, my pressure would suddenly lower and she would let me go home.  One day during a phone conversation with her after having a high pressure, she said she wanted me to come and be evaluated and to discuss our plan of going into the hospital.  So I went in.

* My pressure came down and she sent me home. *

The next day at my appointment, I met with a different doctor who was also ready to admit me.  She even said that medication and hospital stay are not a matter of if but when.  She said she was ready to "check me into the big house."

* My pressure came down and she sent me home. *

After high pressures Thursday night and Friday morning the doctor called me back into her office.  By now I was feeling really crummy and was tired of all the back and forth.  After praying with my mom over the phone I finally surrendered this to God.  If His will was hospital stay my heart was willing.

* My pressure came down and she sent me home. *

Don't get me wrong, I in no way want to put my health or Baby's Boy's well being in jeopardy.  If the doctor's order is medication and hospital stay I'm there.  My homebody, find security in the familiar, loves sleeping in my own bed, waking up to my two loves everyday, self just prefers to stay home as long as I can afford to.  

While I know we serve a big God who answers our specific requests, it is amazing to see them played out on this scale.  My hope is that in all of this that He will be most glorified.  

In the midst of Mommy being away, these two are getting plenty of quality time in! 

And we are all doing what's necessary to prepare for Baby Boy's arrival.

Again, we are so appreciative to everyone who has reached out to us.  I hope that I will one day be able to be the friend that so many have been to me.

Please continue to pray for us.

At my doctor's appointment yesterday my blood pressure was the lowest it's been in weeks!  

Specifically pray for Baby Boy and his breathing and lung development.  At least once a week I am hooked up to monitors for a period of time to see how he is handling this.  The last two times he has had some decelerations in his breathing and that led to more ultrasounds.  The doctor needs to see his diaphram moving more to show that he isn't struggling.  

As a mother I would rather hear that I am struggling rather than my child.  But he is God's, not mine and I daily need to surrender this.

I am 30 weeks pregnant this week.  The goal is 35-36.

Lets hope I don't go crazy inside my four walls between now and then.  :)