The Baby Boy I Never Knew I Always Wanted

The house is quiet, the kids are sleeping, and the only light is the glow that comes from the twinkling white ones that adorn the Christmas tree.  
This is the moment I have waited months for.  
The moment when the pregnancy was behind me and I was home with my son.  


I have so much on my heart and so much I want to record on here - 
the story of his birth, my health scares, the first time my children met each other.  
But for now I will just bask in the peacefulness of this sweet moment, curled up in my white and blue bath robe, to reflect on how much I love my little boy.  

You see I have always been somewhat partial to girls.  I come from a family of girls, I have always babysat for girls, and I have a little girl.  So when I found out that McClain was on the way I was nervous about what kind of mom I would be to this little man.  
How would I do with someone who loved tractors, trains, bugs and ballparks? 


Let me just say that I am madly, ridiculously, over the moon in love with my baby boy.  I can not get enough of his sweetness.  My friends with boys always told me that there is a special bond with mothers and sons.  They would go on and on about how boys love their mamas.  All I heard was "you just wait Lil, he is going to steal your heart." I just could not grasp the concept until the nurse handed me my sweet McClain.  

It's been a hard journey to get to this place, but I look forward to every moment of life with my little one. After all he is the baby boy I never knew I always wanted.  

Baby Boy is Here!

"For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him."

1 Samuel 1:27

Robert "McClain" Mason

12-10-10

10:01 pm

6 lbs. 7 ozs.

It's Go Time

I feel like a kid counting down the days until Christmas morning! 

This Friday marks the date I have waited for, prayed for, cried for, and begged for...

the day I will lay eyes on my sweet little boy. 

December 10th will mark 36 weeks of pregnancy - a date we thought would happen extremely premature. 

I am holding strong and stable.  I am scheduled to check into the hospital Thursday and be induced early Friday morning.  And I am counting every blessing I have been given.  

While I have been stable for three weeks now, my doctor does not want to push me further than the 36 week mark.  Between 36-38 weeks preeclampsia worsens intensely and I experienced this last time with Lucy Mills.  Right now the baby should fare fine on the outside and we are confident that inducing labor is the best decision, especially since I have been having contractions for weeks now and am dilating.  

Baby Boy has been moving a ton, but has not consistently stayed head down.  Please pray with me that he will be head down Friday morning so that I can labor naturally.  If he is not head down we will do a c-section.  

I know what a miracle this pregnancy and this baby is. 

Thank you family and friends who have seen us through this trial.  

Please keep our little family in your prayers as we welcome Baby Boy.  

December 10th is a day that we will see God's mercies prevail.  

34 and Holding

"The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:14


This is the verse that I have held tight to this past week.  Just "being still" goes against everything I want to do right now.  I want to decorate my house for the holiday season, I want to take my little girls' hand as she learns to walk around the house, I want to be in the football stadium cheering among the other fans.  But what I want more than any of these things is to hold my healthy baby boy when he is born.  So in the meantime I will just be still.  


Friday, November 26th marked another milestone that we were hoping to accomplish.  As I write this post I am 34 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  It was exactly a month ago that I was put in the hospital and told that my body was shutting down and would maybe last another week being pregnant.  Oh how sweet the words of Exodus 14 sound! 


I went to the doctor this morning and mama and baby look great! 
So now the plan is 10 days and counting.  Of course if things take a turn for the worse I will be put in the hospital immediately to be induced.  
But if we can remain stable for 10 more days I will be put in the hospital on December 9th and induced on the 10th.  December 10th marks 36 weeks. Making 36 weeks is something that seemed so unattainable at one point.  When will I learn that with God ALL things are possible? 

33 Weeks

Another week has come and gone to cross off the pregnancy calendar.  I am praising God for His faithfulness and for answering our prayers.  I am already two weeks further in my pregnancy than the doctors thought I would get.  Every time I go to my appointments the nurses, doctors and office staff give me a thumbs up and say "yay, you're still pregnant!" And then some of them ask me if I want to apply for a job there since I'm around the office just as much as they are. :) 

Last week I was hopeful that this would be a relatively smooth week and for the most part it has been...until yesterday.  

I went in to have my weekly NST done and the monitor showed that Baby Boy was possibly having some decelerations in his heart rate.  So I was sent back to the hospital for hours of more monitoring.  Well as it turns out he was not having decels, but I was having contractions 3-5 minutes apart.  Lovely.  The last time this happened at 30 weeks I was put in the hospital and put on Magnesium.

To make a long story short, over the course of 7 hours I was given shots to slow down my contractions and sent home with medicine to keep them at bay.  I have started to dilate but not enough to keep me in the hospital.  Since my blood pressure has not spiked high again, the doctors want to keep me on the meds at least until next Friday - when I am 34 weeks.  

Please pray along with us that I can healthily stay pregnant at least one more week from today.  To make 34 weeks has been my goal for a while now and I am excited that this week will mark that milestone.  

My (Almost) 15 Month Old

One of the hardest things, if not the hardest things for me during this pregnancy has been not being Lucy Mills' primary caregiver.  I have been on bed rest for over seven weeks now and I feel  so guilty for missing this period in her life.

I am thankful for Travis, my parents, my in laws, and some great babysitters who have stepped in for me to love and care for my child.  Lord knows she is an active girl on the go who can take up all your energy most days! 

 Even though being away from her has been a struggle for me, Lucy Mills is soaking up all the attention from everyone in and out of our house.  

 I know that I am doing what I have to do to take care of this baby and myself, but this little girl has been my world these past 14 and 1/2 months.  She is growing up so fast and I don't want to miss out on any of it.

Lucy Mills,

You must have inherited your mother's stubbornness because you refuse to walk on your own.  You stand up all the time and push your shopping cart or choo choo train all around the house.  You run with it in fact, but you refuse to let go and walk by yourself.  Are you going to make Mommy carry around two babies? 

You babble on all day long from the moment you are awake until you are go to sleep.  You mimmick our words and sentences and point to whatever you are talking about.  You love to say babies, (ma nana) bananas, appa (apple), nah nah (Maggie), hi mama, hi dada, wa wa (water) and pumpkin.  You are now trying to put words and sentences together.  We don't always understand you but can eventually understand what you mean.  You adore reading books and sound like you are fluent in Chinese when you read aloud.  
You despise having your diaper and clothes changed.  It sounds like we are chopping off your legs or something when you are being changed.  
Your favorite game now is peek-a-boo but you like to cover up my eyes and do it.  
You are still taking two good two hour naps a day and sleeping 12 hours through the night.  (I sure wish I could say the same for me!)
You clap your hands and smile the biggest, brightest smile when you are excited to see someone.  
We took down a big mirror that was no longer needed in the dining room, and for the time being propped it up against the wall in our room.  Well you have found a little girl who looks a lot like you to play with in the reflection!  You play peek-a-boo in the mirror, you dance, and you hit the glass in pure excitement.  Sometimes you point to it and say "baby?" 


Lucy Mills, you are the joy of our lives and I can't wait to have life back to normal our simple routine. 

This Journey

Well a few weeks ago I had all the intention in the world to update this blog regularly.  Sometimes the best laid plans go by the wayside.  

"I will delight to do Your will, O my God;

Your law is within my heart."

-Psalm 40:8

On Monday, November 1st my preeclampsia began to take over and get the best of me.  At my doctors appointment that morning things did not go in my favor.  My blood pressure was creeping up which started to affect my neurological system, and I was having contractions every 3-5 minutes.  With all of this going on at a mere 30 weeks pregnant, my doctor (and several other docs who have been keeping tabs on me) were not hopeful.  

I asked her how much longer she thought I could carry this baby, and she responded 

"I think you have a week left in you."

She left the room and I crumbled into an ocean of tears.

No, it's not time, it's too soon, he's not ready were all the thoughts swimming through my frazzled and exhausted brain.

Moments later I was sent to the hospital to be stabilized.  I was put on fluids, oxygen and (my nemesis) Magnesium.  Later that day I was transferred to another local hospital equipped with a high risk maternity unit and the best NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) in the state.

"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you;

 He will be with you.

He will not fail you or forsake you.

Do not fear or be dismayed."

-Deuteronomy 31:8

Lets just say bed rest at home is MUCH better than bed rest in the hospital.  I won't complain about all the details here but it was a very, very hard week for me.  

The silver lining in the cloud was that I have never felt more covered in prayers.  My family and friends immediately stepped in to be at the hospital with me, take care of Lucy Mills 24/7, and reach out to me in countless ways.  I am in awe and feel so undeserving of their graciousness.  

"I cried out of my distress to the Lord and He answered me.

I cried for help from the depth...

You heard my voice."

-Jonah: 2:2

After a week in the hospital the high risk doctor let me come home for a 24-48 hour period. Well a few nights sleep in my own bed must have bought me some more time.  I remained stable enough to stay home and be monitored in the office and hospital 2-3 days a week. 

I have surely seen the power of prayer.  My numbers have been perfectly stable for two weeks now.  On November 1st the goal was to make 32 weeks and still be pregnant.  

Goal = Accomplished

Now we are praying every week to make one more Friday.  My goal now is to make Thanksgiving with this little turkey still in the oven.  

I know from past experience that preeclampsia does not get better, it gets worse and it gets worse fast.  The only cure is to deliver the baby.  

Even though I have been stable these past two weeks, Baby Boy has given us a little trouble.  Out of the five (yes, five insurance company!) ultrasounds I had this week he has not been breathing like he should.  Each time he does not cooperate I am sent to the hospital for 3 hours of monitoring and another ultrasound.  This happened three times this week alone.

Eventually he does what the doctor needs to see but it is somewhat concerning that he may be struggling with the task.  It does not indicate a lung problem, but instead that the preeclampsia is beginning to take a toll on him.  

Each week the doctor will determine if Baby Boy is getting what he needs from me, or if the preeclampsia is compromising his wellbeing and he would fare better on the outside.  

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day,

I had holy plans for you" 

-Jeremiah 1:5, MSG

My prayer is that we will both healthily make it to 34-35 weeks before inducing.  Of course longer would be great, but I think that is a reasonable goal.  I would love to be able to deliver at Lexington with my doctors and be closer to home.  I trust the Lord knows what we need and will put us where He wants us.  

This week I will also be seeing a high risk doctor who specializes in maternal assessment.  After three trips to the hospital this week I hope this will be a relatively normal week.  The entire experience is both emotionally and physically exhausting for all of us.  

My sweet friend Carrie sent me the words from this praise song and my sister Susan also bought me the cd.  I meditate on its words when the days seem dark.

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who can ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God… 

-Chris Tomlin

And of course these two bring so much joy.

(picture taken from my phone)